I have had the strangest feeling.

It's been so quiet lately. I think I'm losing badly and I don't even know how to write about it or if I really want to.



I always seems to know the things I want. I just don't know how to get them.

Manzini said a pigeon killer is on the loose. I hope he/she gets caught! I hope we catch he/she/them!!! I like pigeons! remember the pigeon lady from home alone?

I need to learn how to be on wheels. I don't know if I'll be able to catch up.

I finally got a chance to take pictures of the art pieces in the art practice hall. They also has a gallery open at the time. :) Oh and photobucket uploading is cool. I can just highlight and select all the photos in the folder and it'll automatically upload all of them. It's so much better than having to select each image separately.

These are the pieces at the entrance of the hall.





i really liked this one.



They had some pieces in display cases too. One display case was about text messaging.







Through another walkway there were black and white water color pieces. They were really cool.

i really like these figures. I spent a lot of time drawing figures like these. After ballet, I was really interested in body movement, so this piece really appeals to me. I really wanted one of those wooden body models :(.

Jesus Christ



I used to really like bats because of the children's book Stellaluna. I even had a TY beanie doll and I made a glow in the dark necklace for him (I was always scared that i was hurting him because the necklace was made out of pipecleaners. i was scared the metal ends of the pipecleaner would hurt his neck). But one day I flipped through this binder I had, I think it was a WWF binder, it had these pages about different animals. One section was reserved for bats. I got to the vampire bats and they scared the hell out of me. Their faces were so scary.
In another hall right before the anthropology section, they always post really cool things.


the american consumer?

Then there was a gallery open. I think the exhibit I took pictures of had to do with drug abuse.

this piece is very eerie. It covered a whole wall.

I'm not a morning person. Everyone who has to spend the morning with me always tells me I'm not a morning person. I'm not as loquacious as I am in the day and I pretty much feel like shit because I look like shit in the morning so I'm not that peppy. So I apologize to anyone in the future who has to carpool, walk with me to the class, or wake u1p to me in the morning. Most likely, you'll refrain half way from saying, "Good morning sunshine," because I'm just not that much fun.



Other things that happen in the morning are morning classes. During morning classes, I sort of daze off and I like to create stories about people I observe in class. There's this boy and girl who usually sit next to each other. I'm usually sitting behind so  I just watch them as she listens to him as he talks. He seems like an outgoing type and she seems like a more conserved type. I imagine she has this secret crush on  him and tries to impress him. I don't know if it's me or not, but I believe she's upscaled her appearance as the semester progressed. So he usually has a lot of things to talk about and she just sits and smiles and gives short responses because she can't really relate to his exciting life. Sometimes he brings his laptop and he shows her photos that reflect his lifestyle. During those brief moments, she gets to sneak into his life and become almost as close as she wants to be to him. But, the professor announces a new topic, he looks up, minimizes the window he was showing her, and on his desktop appears a centered photo of his girlfriend with a charismatic smile as his wallpaper. The girl plops back to reality and listens to the lecture.

I've been thinking a lot about classes and I've discussed my schedule with a couple of people. I'm going to continue to take Vietnamese. I'm actually considering minoring in Southeast Asian Studies. I have to look more into it though. So I've decided to take Vietnamese more seriously. I'm paying more attention in class and I'm trying to engage myself in the readings and the new terms. No more doodling and sleeping. I wish it was a more conversational class. I really want to improve my speaking. I have such a hard time putting together sentences when I speak. I feel so illiterate.


Last night, I fell in love with James Stewart. I've watched him in other movies, but Mr. Smith goes to Washington really hit the spot for me. I absolutely loved him in it. I love the fighter of lost causes. Yeah, I'm an American; I root for the underdog. (Oh, I thought Jean Arthur was pretty amazing too. :)) With James Stewart, you just never realize how old he looks in Rear Window and Anatomy of a Murderer until you've seen his earlier works like this film. He's still dashing to me.

"Diz says I'm in love with you. He's right." My heart melted.

I find myself most at peace when I get to explore the Art Practice hall. On days when I walk back from chem lecture or chem midterms alone, I get the pleasure of walking through the Art Practice hall on my way back to my dorm. Sometimes I like to pretend I'm one of the art practice students. As students leave from their classes I like to pretend I'm walking in for my class. But instead I find my destination in front of the artworks on display. I love to soak in the the colors, the shades and lighting as if they bring me to life. Maybe I'll capture some shots of their work. I love artistic expression in all forms. However, right now my life feels 2D and I yearn for more.




DIY cosmetic surgery

On a different note, I got dressed for class today and looked in the mirror. I looked really different. Something was different this time when I looked in the mirror and that was the missing factor of a bra. My bras round out the shape of my breast and allow them to look more full. It's that little part of me that I wear everyday that isn't really me. I didn't look at myself in disgust when I forgot to wear a bra, but rather I found myself looking more proportional to myself. More natural and more beautiful. Regardless of what you may think, no, I will not stop wearing a bra. I still have insecurities: the shape, the support, and protrusions people just shouldn't see. However, natural is so beautiful and at this point in my life I am far from wanting to change how I am.

Yeah, sometimes, all the times, most of the times, on occasion I think I'm amazing. :)

I win


http://likeafridaynight.muxtape.com/

 Just wait for the unfolding.



I haven't broken out of my shell to express anything real or as raw.

Have you found me yet?
 
http://likeafridaynight.muxtape.com/